Stable Changes
by Trekgirl01
Summary: Finished!! Last part up, dealing with changes in Susan's life!
1. Chapter 1

Stable Change  
  
By Stephanie MuÃ±oz  
  
Disclaimer: I am but a poor college student who owns nothing but what is growing beneath my bed. And some crickets. I do not own ER, nor am I making any money from this. I just do it for fun.  
  
This is set after "Bygones." The purpose of fanfiction is so that fans can create fictional stories about the characters. All flames will be used to burn the pile of junk growing under my bed. Unfortunately, I've seen lots of disdain for CarSan stories, and while this isn't exactly CarSan, CarSan like events could emerge from this plot. I'm just having fun here.  
  
*~*~*~*  
  
Standing on the roof of the hospital, I look out over the city. Its an unusually cold April morning, overcast and windy. I've missed Chicago's weather. If it weren't for air conditioners, I never would have survived Phoenix for as long as I did.  
  
But I'm back home now. Phoenix never really was my home, just a place I took a long vacation at. I'm here now, but everything is so different. Part of me wants to run back and hide in the desert, another part wishes that I had always stayed here. And that other part of me is saying, "You're here, Susan. Deal with it."  
  
Its so hard to deal with everything though. I've been back for a while, but it doesn't feel like it used to. When I left, I knew where I stood. I knew what the score was and I thought that something better was waiting for me in Arizona. Here, Weaver and I spat fire at each other, Chloe would come and go, leaving me with her child, and Mark . . .  
  
Mark. I left him standing on that platform. Alone. He poured out his heart to me, asked me to stay with him, but I had no choice. I had made a decision and I left. Those first few months I replayed the "what ifs" so many times in my head I was losing control on reality. I got over him in time, but I've never stopped loving him on some level.  
  
So I continued with my life in Arizona. I continued doing what I love, and I got to see Little Susie grow up. I'm almost 100%, no, 95% sure that Chloe will never screw up again. Well, I can only hope.  
  
And a few months ago, I came back. That first day was awkward. Seeing so many new faces, and those few that I've missed so much. The last few months have passed by in such a whirlwind, I hardly know which way is up.  
  
First, seeing Mark. Then Elizabeth. What a surprise. Guess he did a better job of getting over me than I did of getting over him. I'm happy for him. I truly am.  
  
And suddenly, Carter and I started something. It was so weird seeing him all grown up instead of the clumsy young doctor, and I couldn't help but be attracted to him. It was nice, what Carter and I had. For a while anyway. But he loves Abby, and I'm not going to stand in their way.  
  
So many changes. So many new things to get used to. Just as soon as it feels like I'm starting to get settled and I finally have my feet on the ground, something comes up to shatter the pieces of my life.  
  
Mark is dying.  
  
Mark's going to die soon, and there is not a single thing I can do about it. I can't lose him. I can't. He has always been my best friend. The one who I could joke around with and talk to about anything. He was the one thing I had to hold on to here, the one thing I was sad to let go of when I left. I've returned but he's leaving this time.  
  
Life is unfair. Its cruel and it just plain stinks at times.  
  
I sit on a bench and finish my coffee. I sigh and let myself get lost in memories of the past. I wish I could go back in time and stay there forever. Go back to a time where I knew who I was and what I was doing.  
  
Its scary to realize that you have no control in your life. You can try all you want but in the end, you're a victim of circumstances, and the only things you can do is make the best of the situation you're in.  
  
I stand up, resolved to do just that. I have no reason to be so sad right now. Sure, things aren't perfect, but they never will be. I go back down to the ER with my new determined attitude. For the first time, it feels like I've gained some control back.  
  
"Dr. Lewis, I've got a guy in Exam 3 who's got some kidney problems, and a lady in 2 with pneumonia," Frank said as I passed by the Admit desk.  
  
"Okay, I'll be right there," I said, heading into the lounge. Mark was sitting in there, going over a chart.  
  
"Hi, Mark. How has your day been?" I asked casually.  
  
"Considering everything, pretty darn good. What about yours?" he smiled.  
  
"Its going to be a great day." I tied my hair up and put my lab coat and headed towards the door. Before I opened it, I turned back.  
  
"Hey, Mark."  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"I love you."  
  
He smiled warmly. "I love you, too. Never forget that."  
  
"Never." 


	2. Chapter 2

*~*~*~*  
  
"I hate Weaver. I hate Weaver. I hate Weaver," I mutter over and over to myself.  
  
"Let me guess, you're day's not going so well, is it, Susan?" Carter asks with a smile.  
  
"Very observant of you. Its 5 p.m. and I have been doing chart reviews and summaries of cases for the past hour and a half. Weaver wants them in as soon as possible. Too bad its been a slow day. If only a major trauma would come in, it would give me something better to do."  
  
"Careful what you wish for, Susan," Carter warned, half-joking.  
  
Susan smiled and went back to the files. Her stomach started grumbling. Realizing she hadn't had a decent bite to eat all day, she decided to go out.  
  
"Hey Carter. Want to go grab dinner at Doc Magoo's?"  
  
"Sure. Nothing good to eat around here," he said, jumping at the chance to do something other than weak and dizzy all over's. "Just hope Weaver doesn't see you sneaking out without permission."  
  
"I'm not sneaking out," I said before quickly hiding behind a supply rack. Weaver and Mark just turned the corner.  
  
"Not sneaking out . . . " Carter mumbled as he crouched down next to me. Thankfully, Kerry went into the lounge.  
  
I sighed with relief and started walking towards the door.  
  
"You weren't hiding there, were you?" Mark asked Carter and I.  
  
"Nope," I said.  
  
"We were just about to sneak out," Carter added.  
  
"Wanna come, Mark? We're going to get something to eat at Doc's."  
  
"Nah, but thanks. How about tomorrow?"  
  
"Sounds like a plan," Carter said as we headed out.  
  
Sitting in our usual booth, I smiled as I looked outside.  
  
"What is it?" Carter asked, looking in the same direction but not seeing anything..  
  
"Nothing really. I just realized that this is one thing that hasn't changed in my life. This view of the hospital, sitting here, drinking not so great coffee."  
  
"Life's little pleasures," he said. "That's all that really matters in the end. Its all you really remember. Those little things that didn't really matter to anyone else, but meant the world to you."  
  
"Yeah," I sighed, thinking of Mark.  
  
We sat in companionable silence until the waitress came and brought our food. Just as I was about to stick the fork in my mouth, Carter no longer remained taciturn.  
  
"How do you feel about me, Susan?"  
  
I nearly chocked on my food. I was not expecting that.  
  
"What do you mean?" I asked after swallowing.  
  
"We broke it off a couple of weeks ago because we felt that there wasn't enough chemistry. But since then, I don't know . . . . It's like I said; the little things. I think that the little things have been going good between us." He began playing with his mashed potatoes.  
  
I sat for a minute and thought about what he said before responding. "You're right, Carter. We do have the little things, but I don't know if that's enough to build a relationship on. And it wasn't just the supposed chemistry factor, its also the fact that you love Abby."  
  
"That's just it, Susan. I don't love Abby. Not like that anyway. I thought I did, but she's changed, and so have I. I think we were good together. I think we belong together."  
  
His words hit me with a strong force. It wasn't what he was saying, exactly, but the memories it conjured up. I suddenly had the vision of Mark standing in front of me at the Union Station, telling me how we belonged together.  
  
I remained silent for a while, not able to get the memory out of my head. I turned and looked back at the hospital for a moment and slightly jumped when I felt his warm hand on mine.  
  
"What do you say, Susan? I think we should give it another try."  
  
I turned back to look at him. His brown eyes were pleading, and I saw that young med student staring back at me full of innocence.  
  
"Let's just take it slow, okay? I'm still not totally sure that this is a good idea."  
  
"Its worth a shot, don't you think?"  
  
"Maybe it is," I smiled back at him. "Dinner on Friday?"  
  
"Sure. We'll see how it goes from there. Okay?"  
  
"Okay," I smiled back at him. 


	3. Chapter 3

*~*~*~*  
  
An hour until my shift is over, and I'm still doing these stupid chart reviews. I sat in the lounge, staring out the window. The door opened and shook me from my reverie.  
  
"You're not off yet?" Mark asked, sitting down next to me.  
  
"57 minutes and 32 seconds left. You?"  
  
"57 minutes and 24 seconds," he smiled. "How did dinner with Carter go?"  
  
"He wants to get back together," I said softly.  
  
"I thought so. What did you say?"  
  
"I said I wanted to take it really slow. I'm not sure if it will work out, but I'm willing to try."  
  
I turned toward him and smiled sincerely. "What?" he asked.  
  
"I've missed this. Talking to you about everything," I mumbled as I leaned over to hug him, suddenly overcome with emotion.  
  
"Me too," he said.  
  
"Did I tell you today that I love you?"  
  
"Yep. And I said the same."  
  
"Good," I said, pulling away. "Why don't you go home, Mark. Its been a slow day. I'll cover for you."  
  
"No, that's okay. Besides, its only 55 minutes and 38 seconds now anyway."  
  
I laughed and squeezed his hand.  
  
*~*~*~*  
  
I yawn as I stand by the window in my apartment, looking at the city lights. It was a long day, but a good one. The world may be flipping upside down around me. I may gain a significant other and lose my best friend soon, but I'll be okay. When it comes down to it, I know that I'll survive. A lot has changed, and a lot will change in the coming months, but I'll make it. I've got two of the greatest guys in the world on my side. I'm ready for anything. 


	4. Chapter 4

*~*~*~*Chapter 4*~*~*~*  
  
The alarm goes off the next morning at precisely 7:00. I grumble, hit snooze, and blink my eyes a couple of times. After the second blink, the clock now reads 7:24.  
  
Wow. That was some blink.  
  
I do some more grumbling, scurry about, and manage to make it to work 23 minutes later, armed with coffee. I already know I will be refilling my cup soon when I enter the hospital and Kerry hands me three charts.  
  
A woman with a possible ear infection in Exam 1, a kid with minor burns in Curtain Area 3, and a rule out MI in 2. I opt to go take car of the kid first.  
  
Walking into Curtain Area 3, I notice Carter patiently talking with an old woman. He smiles warmly at me and I smile back before approaching a scared looking little girl sitting on a bed.  
  
"You must be Allison Kathryn," I say with a smile, crouching down so I'm shorter than she is.  
  
"Alley Kat," she says softly.  
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
"Everyone calls me Alley Kat. What's your name?"  
  
"Dr. Lewis, but you can call me Susan. Where are your parents at, Alley Kat?" I ask, concerned that a 4 year old is left alone in the ER.  
  
"Yelling at my brothers," she says with a slight smile.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"'Cuz they put a water balloon in the microwave and then threw it at me. That's why I'm here. Why are you here?"  
  
I can't help but smile at the girl's innocence and curiosity. "I'm here to take care of people like you who need my help. Can I see where you got burned, Alley Kat?"  
  
"Right here, and here," she says, pointing to red marks on her legs. "Don't touch it, it hurts."  
  
"You're pretty lucky, Alley Kat," I reassure her. "Those aren't too bad."  
  
"Anything I can do to help?" Carter asks, coming over to crouch by my side.  
  
"Alley Kat, this is my friend, Dr. Carter. Carter, this is Alley Kat."  
  
"Hello there, Alley Kat. I like your name," he grins at her.  
  
"I like yours too. Carter is the name of the guy who mows the lawn," she responds.  
  
I smirk a little as I get the cream to put on Alley Kat's burns.  
  
"What?" Carter asks me.  
  
"You know what," I reply.  
  
"Dr. Carter?" Alley Kat asks after we start bandaging her leg.  
  
"Yeah?" he asks.  
  
"Are you Susan's boyfriend?" I stop as the words come out of her mouth.  
  
"I don't know," he responds and then asks coyly, "Susan, am I your boyfriend?"  
  
"What gave you that idea, Alley Kat?" I ask, avoiding the question.  
  
"I dunno. Dr. Carter looks at you like my brother Mike looks at his girlfriend. All goofy like," she says, matter of factly.  
  
"How old is your brother?" I ask.  
  
"He'll be 13 next month."  
  
I laugh loudly at this and Carter turns red.  
  
"All finished, Alley Kat," I say, standing up. "Come on, let's go find your parents."  
  
"Uh-uh. We can't."  
  
"Why not?" I inquire.  
  
"'Cuz my mom says never to start something if you're not gonna finish it. You never finished answering Dr. Carter. Is he your boyfriend?"  
  
I pause and think about everything, then turn back to the little girl. "You know what, Alley Kat? He will be my boyfriend if he takes me out to dinner tomorrow and doesn't screw up. Too much." I turn and wink at Carter.  
  
"Dr. Carter, don't screw up," Alley Kat says to him.  
  
"Yeah, Carter, don't screw up," I laugh as I escort the girl out of the room. 


	5. Chapter 5

*~*~*~*~*Chapter 5*~*~*~*~*  
  
It wasn't until a major trauma came in a few hours later that I got a chance to see Carter. As they wheeled in two teenagers with massive internal injuries from an MVA, I caught sight of Carter racing down the hall. He stood next to me in Trauma 2 as we assessed the girl while Kerry and Mark took care of the guy in Trauma 1.  
  
Her blood pressure was dropping fast and I was concerned about possible spinal injury. A gastric lavage confirmed that she needed surgery, but her heart rhythm was not cooperating. A very long 26 minutes later, the girl was on her way up to surgery.  
  
I sighed with relief as Dr. Corday wheeled the girl out and felt my heartbeat slow back down to its normal pace. Carter placed his hands on my neck and began rubbing them softly, the way I liked him to at the end of the day. I sighed contently then asked, "How did the other trauma go?"  
  
"They got the kid up to surgery ten minutes ago. Come on, lets go talk in the lounge."  
  
I followed him there and refilled my coffee before sitting down.  
  
"Did you mean what you said this morning?" he asked softly.  
  
"About what?"  
  
"When you told Alley Kat the I would be your boyfriend if I don't screw up tomorrow?"  
  
"I meant it, Carter," I smiled. "You know, I did a lot of thinking last night. And I came to the conclusion that you're right; we do have the little things. And maybe we do belong together, John. After all, we make a great team, and you do give spectacular back rubs," I snickered.  
  
Carter laughed softly. "Instead of dinner tomorrow, how about getting pizza and watching a movie?"  
  
"Mmmmm, sounds better than going out," I replied.  
  
"Good. I'll even give you a back rub," he smiled.  
  
*~*~*~*Chapter 6*~*~*~*  
  
Friday evening, 9:30, Carter and I snuggled on the couch, watching Bridget Jones's Diary.  
  
"You sure you want to watch this?" I ask, grabbing another piece of pizza.  
  
"Yeah. its supposed to be funny. Besides, they say 'knickers' and 'daft,'" he chortles.  
  
Halfway through the movie, I shift so my head is in Carter's lab and he rubs my scalp. I nearly purr at that movement. He laughs softly as Renee Zellweger does indeed say "knickers."  
  
Carter's laughter cuts short as the tape suddenly makes a not-so-normal sound and pauses. The machine becomes possessed as it tries to spit the tape out but something keeps it in.  
  
"Oh, no," I mutter, getting up from the couch and my nice warm spot in order to try and salvage the tape. Ten minutes later Carter and I are still crouched in front of the VCR trying to pry the tape out.  
  
"Screwdriver," he mutters.  
  
"This isn't surgery, Doctor" I laugh.  
  
"Its kinda like surgery," he shrugs with a smile. "Almost . . . almost . . . there!"  
  
He yanks the tape out with force, but rips the ribbon, leaving part of it stretched out and dangling in front of the TV.  
  
  
  
"I'm terribly sorry, Dr. Lewis. We exhausted all of our resources, but despite our best efforts, your VCR ate the tape, and Renee Zellweger's daft knickers along with it," he says deadpan.  
  
I erupt into giggles with such a force that I fall over.  
  
Its nearly 2 when I start to yawn. Carter and I have been sitting on the couch, talking about nothing and everything for hours, having an absolutely wonderful time.  
  
"Mmm, its late," he says. "I should go. We're both on at 8 tomorrow."  
  
"Another day with Weaver. Can't wait," I grumble.  
  
"Is she really that bad?" Carter asks.  
  
"She's been worse lately," I reply. "Ever since she found out about Mark, I don't know, she just seems more hostile."  
  
"Maybe she's having problems with Sandy," he smiled.  
  
"Who knows?" I said yawning.  
  
"Yep, I better go," he said, getting up and pulling me with him as we walked to the door.  
  
"Okay. G'night, John," I say softly.  
  
"Night, Susan," he says, softly kissing me. Its sweet, and I can't deny it, I did feel something.  
  
He smiles at me happily and knowingly. "I'll be by to pick you op in the morning, okay?"  
  
"Okay," I say as he turns. "Oh, and John? Yeah, I guess you're my boyfriend now."  
  
He smiles sincerely as he leaves.  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
Well, should I add more? Or should I end it here? I've got a couple of ideas floating around in my head. What do you think I should do? 


	6. Chapter 6

Sorry it took forever to update! Darn schoolwork! Anyway, I'm back with another installment, and don't worry, I will be adding more. This next part was hard to write. I couldn't come up with a good storyline, so I hope its okay. Oh, and many, many thanks to all of the wonderful people who have submitted reviews! You guys are the best!  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
Two weeks have passed by rather quickly. Carter and I are definitely involved again, and this time, things couldn't be better. I'm not unsure of our relationship and our feelings this time. Everything is going well with him.  
  
Mark, on the other hand, isn't doing so wonderfully. He's still working, and its such a comfort to see him doing what he loves best. We have lunch 3 days a week, and go out to dinner once or twice, just to spend as much time as possible together. But slowly, he's getting worse. He isn't handling as many traumas, he isn't doing as many procedures. Every once in a while, he has trouble speaking or writing. It scares me to see Mark Greene falter at what used to be thoughtless tasks.  
  
I'm sitting on the roof again, lost in thought. This has become my favorite thinking spot. A place where I can sit, high up, and do nothing but think, wonder, and sometimes cry.  
  
Cry because I can't handle losing my best friend, and I can't fix what's wrong with him.  
  
I'm a doctor. Its what I'm supposed to do. I'm supposed to fix people, but I can't fix Mark, and I can't fix my heart so that it won't break when I lose him.  
  
I was talking to Carter about that last night. I told him that when Mark leaves, my heart will shatter. He sighed and pulled me close, reassuring me that he'll be there to help me rebuild it.  
  
I'm so lucky to have Carter right now. If I didn't, I don't know what I would do. He's hurting inside too. Mark was there for him on his first day. He was there for him more than Benton ever was. We're struggling through this together. Something tells me that we'll be okay.  
  
A strong breeze blows and I pull my lab coat around me a little tighter. I dry the few tears that fell and resolve to not dwell on this depressing matter anymore. I have a job to do. There will always be time to cry later.  
  
As I start downstairs, my pager goes off. I rush down to the ER to find it in its usual chaotic form. Carter yells my name from the trauma room and I rush in, putting gloves on as I go.  
  
I nearly freeze as I see the victim on the table. Its a little girl with red hair. She can't be more than 5 years old. I sometimes have trouble dealing with kids who remind me of Susie, and this is one of those times. I take a couple seconds to focus, then go into ER doc mode. Carter fills me in on her story. She was climbing trees with her friends in a park when she fell and lost consciousness. She fractured her tibia and fibula, and made a clean break through her left arm. Carter thinks that she has a cerebral hemorrhage. We do the best we can to stabilize her then rush her for brain scans that will tell us more.  
  
While Carter and I were working on the little girl, I noticed that Mark was busy in Trauma 2 with a patient. I headed in there to find that it was a GSW victim and quickly lend a hand.  
  
As the GSW is wheeled off to surgery, I stay in the room with Mark for a bit, concerned that he was having problems during the trauma.  
  
"You did good," I said, patting him on the back. "Want to get a cup of coffee?"  
  
"Thanks, Susan, but how about we take an early lunch instead? There's something I want to talk to you about." He took off his gloves and threw them in the trash.  
  
"Sure. Sounds good."  
  
Ten minutes later, we are sitting in Doc Magoo's. Mark looks at me restlessly.  
  
"Just spit it out, Mark. Tell me what's up," I say.  
  
"I'm going to leave County soon," he says quietly.  
  
"Soon?" I ask, trying to remain calm as my brain works quickly, making assumptions. If he's leaving so soon, then that must mean that he's having more problems than I thought.  
  
"Yeah, very soon. This will probably be my last week. Look, I don't want you to say anything. I haven't even told Weaver about it yet. Its just that . . . " he trailed off. I put my hand in his reassuringly. "I want to spend as much time with my daughters and my wife as possible right now. I've missed so much of Rachel growing up, I don't want to miss more than I have to."  
  
He looked away from me. I knew that he had trouble arriving at the decision to leave so soon. He knew how much this would hurt me.  
  
"I'm sorry," he mumbled after a few moments.  
  
"Mark, please, don't be sorry. I completely understand. You need to be with your family. You belong with them." I slid out from my side of the booth to sit next to him and I interlocked his arm with mine.  
  
"You're sure? You're okay with this?" he asked.  
  
"I'm sad that I won't get to see you as much, but the most important thing right now is that you spend time with those who need you most." I pulled him into a hug and looked out the window at the hospital entrance.  
  
*~*~*~*  
  
"Traffic?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Artificial Intelligence?"  
  
"Definitely not. Too depressing."  
  
"Riding in Cars With Boys?"  
  
"I don't know. Is that sad?"  
  
"I think it has some sad parts. . ."  
  
"No."  
  
"Okay. Here we go, Moulin Rouge."  
  
"Nope. She dies at the end."  
  
"Okay, got it. Cinderella II."  
  
"You aren't getting a movie for Little Susie, you're getting one for us."  
  
"Okay, Zoolander."  
  
"Stupid funny?"  
  
"Uh-huh."  
  
"Perfect."  
  
"Great. I'll be over in about 20 minutes."  
  
"Okay."  
  
I hung up the phone and went into the kitchen. Carter went to get a movie while I finished making dinner. Chicken, rice made with cream of mushroom soup, and broccoli. I snacked on a "little tree" as Susie referred to them while waiting for Carter.  
  
He got to my apartment a few minutes earlier than expected. Letting himself in with his brand new key, he found me still in the kitchen, sitting at the table.  
  
"Smells great," he smiled warmly, leaning down to kiss my cheek. "You okay?" he asked.  
  
"Yeah. I'll be okay. You got the movie?" I asked.  
  
"Yep, right here. And I also stopped to get us a bottle of champagne," he said brightly, producing an expensive bottle from a paper bag.  
  
"Oh, this is good stuff. We celebrating or something?"  
  
"Maybe. Com eon, let's eat. I'm famished, and I'll explain everything."  
  
We sat at the table a few minutes later, plates full of great smelling food in front of us. Carter poured us each a glass of the champagne and simply said, "To bounce back patients."  
  
"To bounce back patients," I toasted with a smile. After putting down my glass, I asked, "Why did we just toast bounce backs?"  
  
"Because they are the subjects of my study," he said smugly.  
  
"A study? You're doing an ER study? That's great news, John," I said enthusiastically.  
  
"Yeah. I'm trying to see if there are any other measures that we can take to prevent the number of bounce backs that occur. I'm still working on the premise of the whole thing, but Weaver gave me the go-ahead today."  
  
"Wonderful. That's wonderful news," I said with a smile.  
  
We finished dinner and then settled on the couch to watch Zoolander. It was indeed a stupid funny movie, but I enjoyed it. I could have done without some parts, but it made Carter and I laugh.  
  
By the time the movie ended, I was ready for bed. I stood up with Carter's help and went back into the kitchen to clean up a bit. He rewound the movie then disappeared in the bedroom for a minute.  
  
He returned, ready for bed just as I was about to load the dishwasher. "I'll do that," he said. "Go get in bed."  
  
I complied and a couple minutes after I settled under the covers, he climbed in. We settled in our usual position, facing each other. He pulled me close and I settled next to him comfortably.  
  
"Know what, John?" I began.  
  
"What?" he yawned.  
  
"I think that you should just move in."  
  
"How about you move in with me?"  
  
"I could live with that," I smiled. "But will Gamma approve?"  
  
"Mmmmm, she'll learn to deal with it," he smiled before kissing my forehead and closing his eyes.  
  
Hmmm, I thought to myself as my own eyes began to droop. More changes in my life. But maybe things are finally starting to change for the better. Mark's going to spend more time with his family, which is the best thing for him. Yeah, I'm gonna miss him, but family comes first. And Carter and I . . . things are moving fast, but it feels right. It feels so right. I lean over and kiss his cheek before drifting off to sleep. 


	7. Chapter 7

*~*~*~*~*  
  
Its Mark's last day, and he couldn't be having a better one. No one but Kerry, Carter, and I know about it, so everyone's been treating him normally, which is just what he wanted.  
  
Mark walks down the hall on the way to Exam 2 when I fall into step next to him. "Having a good day?" I ask, noticing that he can't stop grinning.  
  
"Absolutely. I have made 3 great saves today, and diagnosed everything perfectly. I've had wonderful, interesting patients, and, I'm about to take my best friend out to lunch," he smiled.  
  
"Really? Wow, you're best friend must love you," I joked.  
  
"Yeah, she does. Come on," he said, putting his arm around my shoulders.  
  
"One last time at Doc's?"  
  
"No, Susan, its not the last time. I'll stop by a lot just to take you out." We settle into our usual spot and don't bother to look at the menu before ordering and lapsing into our usual conversation.  
  
"Has Kerry been on your case lately?" Mark asked.  
  
"Not really. I'm kind of surprised, actually. She's been preoccupied lately with the budget reviews. But once she has time to devote her full attention back to me, I'm sure everything will go back to normal."  
  
"You wouldn't have it any other way, would you?" he smirked.  
  
"No, I wouldn't," I laughed. "You're right, I kinda do enjoy being at odds with her all the time. Gives me something to complain about. Besides, this is as close to a meaningful relationship that Kerry and I will have."  
  
"Maybe. Then again, maybe you two will stop stepping on each other's throats." He paused and sipped his coffee. "Nah," he grinned.  
  
I laughed for a moment then took a bite of my chicken. "So what are you going to do tomorrow?"  
  
"I don't know, probably watch Rollie Pollie Ollie and PB&J Otter with Ella. She really likes that Noodle Dance," he smiled.  
  
"Yeah, so does Suzie."  
  
"How are Suzie and Chloe?"  
  
We continued chatting about everything we could think of and nothing at all. It was a trivial conversation, like so many others we've shared through the years. But this one will always be special to me. It was the last time Mark Greene spoke to me as a fellow attending.  
  
During lunch, we were paged back to the ER, where Mark made another amazing save. When our shifts were finally over, he made sure to give me a hug and kiss on the cheek goodbye, and I watched him smile as he left the ER, knowing in my heart that a big part of my life was slowly slipping away, but at the same time, happy for what we shared.  
  
*~*~*~*  
  
"I'm back!" I yelled, opening the apartment door. I found the living room much in the same way I left it; papers, files and folders scattered everywhere, and a sleeping Carter in the middle of the chaos. I set the food down on the floor as there was no room on the coffee table and leaned over to wake John with a kiss.  
  
"Hey there," he said, smiling, as he opened his eyes.  
  
"Hey. Sorry to wake you, but you've got an hour and a half before you have to go to work. I brought you some food." I reached in the bag and pulled out the Chinese food I got.  
  
"Chinese food for breakfast?" he asked.  
  
"Carter, its 5:30 p.m. They stopped serving breakfast hours ago," I smiled as he ate an egg roll.  
  
"Its good, but its not breakfast," he mumbled before leaning over to kiss my cheek. "But thank you, nonetheless."  
  
  
  
"You're welcome. So, did you get anything done while I was away?" I asked. I had gotten home from work about three hours ago to find Carter not sleeping, but working on his study. I'd tried to get him to sleep some since he has to work all night. Of course, he didn't listen to me, so I let him work for a bit, but got hungry. When I left to get take out, he was sleeping on the couch amid a storm of data and old files.  
  
"Yeah, actually, I did. I had this really great dream where Weaver gets locked in an elevator and we all got to go home early."  
  
I laughed as I ate a piece of pork and leaned in next to him on the couch. "Don't go to work, John. Let's just stay here and do absolutely nothing," I mumbled.  
  
"That would be nice. But, if I don't go into work tonight, then I can't trade that shift with Luka in a week so we can have the entire weekend off together."  
  
"Yeah, but all we're gonna do that weekend is move into your place." We had worked everything out. Though I would rather that Carter move in here with me, we decided it would be best if I moved in with him. It will certainly be a big change for me, but I'll be living with John, so it all works out in the end.  
  
"But, I worked something out. Here, look at this," he said, looking under tons of papers until he found a small, green notebook. "Now, if you trade a night shift with Luka in three weeks, and if I switch shifts with Kerry, then we can have another weekend together. And then, we'll go somewhere, just you and me," he smiled.  
  
"Really?" I asked.  
  
"Yup."  
  
"How long did it take you to figure this out?" I asked.  
  
"In the same amount of time that I could have gone through 5 patient files. But I enjoyed this work much more." He kissed me quickly before standing up. "I'm gonna go take a shower and get ready for work."  
  
"Okay," I said, smiling. "I'll put the rest of the food away and then I'm going to sleep for a long time. Oh," I said, pulling another container out of the bag. "I got you this to take to work so you have something to eat later."  
  
"Mmm, thanks, Susan. You're the best," he said, kissing me again before heading for the bathroom.  
  
I cleaned up a little, but got very tired very fast. As John was getting dressed, I kissed him goodbye and then went straight to sleep. 


	8. Chapter 8

Hello everyone! I'm back! Here's a new chapter, althugh I'm going to warn you know - it isn't very good. I wrote this in an extreme state of sleep deprivation. So excuse my errors. Hope you enjoy it!  
  
  
  
It was another slow day at work. I sighed as I doodled on a piece of paper, praying that we wouldn't be cursed with too many traumas later to make up for this slow period.  
  
As I crumpled up the paper I had doodled on and threw it away, an older woman I immediately recognized walked in.  
  
"Mrs. Carter," I said warmly. "How nice to see you. Would you like me to find Carter?"  
  
"Oh, no thank you, Susan. I actually came to see you," she said. "Would you like to go to lunch?"  
  
"That sounds wonderful. Just let me grab my coat and we'll be off," I said, making my way for the lounge. I couldn't help but worry a bit about why she came to see me. Carter's Gamma and I had not spoken very much, and when we did, it didn't turn out as well as I had hoped. And despite all of this, I was moving into her house in a couple of days.  
  
I returned quickly and we walked out to the car after I told Kerry that I was going to lunch. She wasn't pleased, but conceded when I told her who I was going to lunch with.  
  
It was a quick drive to a nice Italian restaurant not far from the hospital and we made small talk on the way. As soon as the waiter brought us our drinks and left, Gamma began the conversation I had been worried about.  
  
"Susan, I want you to know that I do not oppose your moving in. I know that I am not the friendliest person in the world, but it is important to me that you know that I have no animosity towards you."  
  
"Thank you, very much, Mrs. Carter," I smiled. "I am very glad to hear that."  
  
"Please, you're moving in with my grandson. Call me Gamma," she said, sipping her wine. "And it is I who should be thanking you." She continued when she saw my look of confusement. "Ever since the incident happened when John was stabbed, he has been different. It was like he lost something in his soul. He still had his passion and determination and spark, but it was diminished. After his addiction, that spark seemed to fade entirely. The John that I had watched grow up seemed to have disappeared. He was still the same young man, but different."  
  
The waiter brought us our food at this moment, but I waited to hear the rest of what Gamma was saying.  
  
"Then, not so long ago, I saw him rejuvenate. It was as if he had gone back to a few years ago when he was an untroubled man. His eyes shine again, and he's happy. Susan, I want to thank you for making John happy again."  
  
I smiled and felt myself blush at her words. I took a few seconds to think about what to say, then began, "You don't know how much it means to me to hear you say that. Thank you, Gamma. I love your grandson, with all of my heart, I love him."  
  
By the time lunch was over and we were driving back to the hospital, I was grateful that Gamma and I had taken this time to talk and get to know each other better before I entered her house, and I told her so.  
  
"Nonsense, Susan," she declared. "Its your house now as well, and I hope you feel that way."  
  
"I'm sure I will. Thank you again, Gamma." As the car door opened, I turned to see Carter waiting for us.  
  
"Hello, Gamma, Susan. Have a nice lunch?" he asked, helping first Gamma and then me out of the car, but not releasing my hand once we were out.  
  
"Quite lovely, John," she said warmly to her grandson. Then to me, she said, "See? There it is. That spark." Resuming her normal tone, she said, "Well, I'm sorry I can't stay longer, but I must get to a meeting. I'll see you both soon."  
  
We said our goodbyes and as Carter closed the door, he turned to me. "Spark?"  
  
"Never mind about that," I said, turning back towards the hospital. "Oh, John, something I wanted to ask you. Did you really strip off all of your clothes at Christmas and run around with your underwear on your head?"  
  
I quickly walked off before he responded, but I felt his hand grab my arm as we walked into the empty lounge.  
  
"Okay, I concede," he said, kissing me lightly. "I was about three years old and very happy that I didn't have to wear a diaper anymore. What else did you and Gamma talk about at your lunch?"  
  
"Lots about you. But I want to hear more about this exhibitionist side of you," I laughed.  
  
"Later. That was all you talked about?"  
  
"Why are you so worried, Carter? You have nothing to be concerned about. Gamma and I just had a lovely lunch and got to know each other better."  
  
"That's good. And I wasn't worried, Susan."  
  
"Sure, whatever," I said, walking out of the lounge.  
  
"And I'm not an exhibitionist," he said.  
  
""Whatever," I smiled, picking up a chart and heading to Exam 2.  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
I love waking up of my own volition. Not because the alarm clock went off, or because its too loud or there is some other disturbance. Its wonderful to wake up simply because your body says that you've had enough sleep.  
  
My eyes open and I smile, savoring the feeling of rest and comfort because it is all too rare. I look around the barren room and sigh, realizing that I have just woken up for the last time in this room. At least it will be a good memory, but just another memory to store with all the others.  
  
I turn over and find John still sleeping peacefully on his back. His mouth kind of hangs open and every once in a while he makes a funny little snorting noise through his nose. I giggle slightly and snuggle into his side, wrapping my arm around him and laying my head on his chest. Closing my eyes, I listen to his slow, rhythmic heart beat, thankful for this moment of pure peace.  
  
His arm moves and his hand settles in my hair. I look up and find him half smiling, but still sleeping. He does the snort thing and I settle back into him, content to remain like this forever, or until I get hungry.  
  
Mmm, breakfast. Sounds pretty good right now, even though I'm quite happy. I ease away from him and head to the nearly empty kitchen where I dig enough utensils out of a box for a suitable breakfast.  
  
I suppose that the combination of the noise I'm making and the aroma of breakfast rouses John from sleep, because he soon walks into the kitchen with his hair wildly pointing in every direction.  
  
"Morning," he mumbles before pouring coffee and kissing my cheek. "Sleep well?"  
  
"Yeah, I did," I smile as I serve us each eggs and bagels. Not the best breakfast, but the best I could do considering nearly everything was packed up. "Oh, made your favorite, John."  
  
"Bagels with butter and sugar?" he asked happily."  
  
"Yeah," I smile as we sit down.  
  
"So, this is the game plan," he said between bites. "We finish breakfast, get dressed, the movers come at 9, we go unload everything, check out the place, then we go shopping to decorate it. We come back, fix everything up, and then go to sleep exhausted."  
  
"Sounds good," I smiled.  
  
Sure enough, we finished breakfast and got dressed. The movers were right on time. I felt a bittersweet pang as we loaded the last box onto the truck. Carter walked me back up to the apartment for a final check. Sure enough, the place was completely empty. It looked as though I had never lived here. Though I had only been here for a few months, it was still kind of sad to be leaving. Sure, I'm moving in with the best guy in the world, but once again, things are changing on me.  
  
We pull up to the Carter family mansion. I still can't believe I'm going to live in a mansion. I've only been inside a couple of times, but now, I live here.  
  
"Come on," Carter smiled. "I want to show you the chambers."  
  
"Chambers?" I asked, getting out of the car.  
  
"Yeah. Gamma thought that we should take the East Chambers."  
  
"As opposed to what, the West Chambers?" I asked.  
  
"Yeah. Those ones aren't so big," he said.  
  
"Carter, I thought I was joking. There are West chambers too?"  
  
"Uh-huh. Just come on!" He hurried me up the staircase and we soon reached a lovely set of double doors. "Okay, close your eyes," he said. I obediently closed my eyes and then felt his hand take mine. "Open them."  
  
I looked around at the luxurious room. There was a fireplace, an elegant coffee table surrounded by plush sofas and chairs. On every table there were fresh flowers and lovely old paintings decorated the walls.  
  
"Carter, its beautiful," I said.  
  
"You gotta see the rest." He took my hand and led me through the chambers. It was like a large apartment inside of a really large house. Down the hall, there was a study that Carter had already settled himself into. His files and computer sat in the comfy room. At the end of the hall was bedroom. It was splendid, a huge, four poster bed on one side, a fireplace, small desk, chairs, and another sofa at the other.  
  
"Window seats!" I exclaimed, walking over to the window. "When I was a little girl, I always wanted window seats."  
  
"Well," he laughed, "now you have them. Come on, there's more to see."  
  
"More?" I asked. "How much more can there be?" I asked as he lead me into the bathroom. It was the single most elegant bathroom I had ever seen.  
  
"Not much, but I saved the best for last. Here it is," he said, taking me to a door that was across from his study. "This is your room, to do with as you please."  
  
I stepped inside the room. It wasn't small, but not to big. "My room?" I asked.  
  
"Yeah. You can make it a study or a TV room or anything at all."  
  
"Carter, you're wonderful!" I said, hugging him. "This is so unbelievable. I feel like a princess or something."  
  
He held on to me for a few moments then pulled back. "Come on, I want to show you the rest of the house," he smiled. We quickly toured the entry hall, parlor, living areas, kitchen, and then a quick survey of all of the bedrooms. We ended up in the back yard gardens.  
  
"Its still unbelievable. I'm never going to want to go back to work, John. I'm going to want to stay here forever. Why did you spend so much time at my place when we could have been here?" I asked.  
  
"Because I love you, and I loved your place. I liked being there so much more than I did here. I was completely surrounded by you, and I love that."  
  
"You're the greatest, you know?"  
  
"Yeah. Come on, time to go shopping!" he said, getting up and pulling me with him.  
  
"What for?" I asked.  
  
"We are going to completely redecorate the chambers. We'll start out by choosing new bed clothes and curtains, then decide if we want it painted, and what paintings to put up, and what to put in your room."  
  
"But John, its so beautiful already," I said as we entered the kitchen where he grabbed two water bottles from the fridge.  
  
"But I want to completely redo it all. I told you, part of the reason I liked your place was because I was surrounded by you. I want you to redecorate the rooms so that it feels like home."  
  
"You're amazing." Just as we were about to leave, Gamma walked into the entry way.  
  
"John, glad I caught you before you were off again. Have you seen everything, Susan?"  
  
"Yes, Gamma, and its simply amazing," I smiled.  
  
"Good. John, the movers have unloaded everything as you asked. I wanted to know if you'll be home for a late lunch at 3?"  
  
"We should be. If we're not, I'll call."  
  
"All right. Enjoy your trip," Gamma smiled before retreating up the stairs.  
  
We got back to the mansion just in time for lunch with Gamma. As we entered, a young woman greeted me with a simple "Good afternoon, Miss Lewis," as she took mine and John's coats. I was very unused to having help and John saw this. He put his hand on the small of my back and introduced me to her.  
  
"Susan, this is Karen. She is one of our maids here."  
  
"Nice to meet you, Karen," I said, extending my hand.  
  
"Likewise, Miss Lewis," she replied. "Mrs. Carter and Mrs. Eleanor are waiting for you in the dining hall," she said before leaving.  
  
"Are there always maids like that around?" I asked Carter.  
  
"Only when my mother and grandmother have company. Usually, they aren't so formal."  
  
"Mrs. Eleanor?" I asked.  
  
"My mother," he sighed. "Gamma was in favor of you moving in, but my mother opposed it," he mumbled.  
  
"She opposed it?" I asked incredulously.  
  
"Yeah, but its no big deal really. I just want you to be prepared if she is a bit cold towards you."  
  
"Thanks for the warning, John. Should I change or something?" I ask.  
  
"No, no, you look lovely," he said, glancing at my lavender flower print dress. "Jus hold on a minute," he said and reached behind me to undo the butterfly clip that held my hair up. He brushed it out with his fingers, framing my face, then kissed me softly. "Beautiful," he said before opening the door to the dining room.  
  
I was surprised to find quite a few people there and not just Gamma and Eleanor. There were a couple of older men and another lady also seated at the table.  
  
"Sorry that we are late," John apologized. "We lost track of time," he said, holding my hand as we walked toward everyone. "Mom, this is Susan Lewis," he began the introductions as Eleanor stood up and extended her hand. "Susan, this is my mother, Eleanor."  
  
"Lovely to meet you," I said warmly.  
  
She shook my hand politely and said, "Yes, nice to meet you."  
  
John then introduced me to the other people at the table, who were friends of the family and had come to eat with Gamma before they were all going to a business meeting.  
  
"This is Mr. Andrew Williamson," he said, referring to a tall man with gray hair and glasses. "Mr. Kurt Hall," he said of a slightly younger man with brown hair. "And his wife, Mrs. Laura Hall." Mrs. Hall was a pretty woman with red hair and a friendly smile.  
  
"Ah, we finally get to meet the girl who stole John's heart," she said warmly, shaking my hand.  
  
I only smiled and said, "It is a pleasure to meet all of you," before sitting down next to John. His hand quickly found mine under the table and he squeezed it reassuringly.  
  
"So, have you two set a date yet?" Mr. Williamson asked.  
  
I was taken aback by the question and nearly choked on the wine I was sipping, but John handled the situation without missing a beat.  
  
"We haven't thought that far ahead, Mr. Williamson," he smiled.  
  
"I see. So how do you like the place, Susan?"  
  
"Oh, its lovely. Very beautiful."  
  
"You are also a doctor with John?" Mr. Hall then asked.  
  
"Yes, we both work in the ER. I met him there 8 years ago," I said.  
  
"And you are just now involved?" Mrs. Hall asked.  
  
"Yes. I moved to Arizona 5 years ago, but moved back a few months ago. That's when John and I started seeing each other."  
  
"A quick relationship," Eleanor commented. I didn't know how to respond.  
  
"Well, we've always been close," John said to his mother. "I loved Susan all those years ago/ Things fell into place perfectly," he added, glancing at me.  
  
"So, Susan," Mrs. Hall began, "why did you move to Arizona?"  
  
"To be with my sister and my niece. I was very sad when they moved away and I had become very close to my niece. I missed them terribly and eventually moved out there. A few months ago, my brother in law got transferred to New Jersey. I didn't feel right following them again, and I missed Chicago, so I came back home."  
  
"How old is your niece?" Gamma asked.  
  
"She's six. Chloe, my sister, named her after me."  
  
"We used to call her Little Susie and Susan Big Susie," Carter laughed.  
  
"I'd forgotten about that," I smiled affectionately.  
  
"How cute," Mrs. Hall remarked.  
  
The rest of the lunch passed quickly. At times, I did feel uncomfortable because of something Eleanor would say, but Gamma or Carter would say something to make everything better.  
  
A while later, John and I were saying goodbye to everyone and then we headed upstairs.  
  
"I'm sorry about my mother," John said on the way upstairs.  
  
"Don't worry about it. It could have been worse. Those certainly were nice people, though."  
  
"Yes, I really like the Halls. They have a daughter our age, her name is Allison. I'm surprised she wasn't here as well."  
  
We entered the chambers and found everything we had bought in the room, as well as the boxes from my apartment. The next few hours, we unpacked and settled the room.  
  
Around 10, I laid on the huge bed, now decorated in a thick maroon comforter. We had decorated the room in maroon and white. It was a charming color combination that worked well with the white walls and carpeting.  
  
"What do you think?" John asked, hanging up a landscape painting above the fireplace.  
  
"Its wonderful. Everything is wonderful."  
  
He smiled and lay down next to me and looked around the room. "Yeah, it is, " he yawned. "I don't know about you, but I'm gonna take a break."  
  
"Sounds good. The rest can wait until later. We have to be at work in the morning."  
  
"Oh, don't remind me," he grumbled. "Weaver wants an updated version of my study proposal. I'd better finish that," he sighed, getting up.  
  
"No, it can wait. We've had an exhausting day, John. Let's just go to sleep, enjoy our first night here," I said, starting to rub his back.  
  
"You know, you are very persuasive, Susan." he murmured.  
  
Half an hour later, we were tucked under the comforter. I looked around the new room in the dark, not used to these strange surroundings.  
  
John's arms circled me and pulled me close. I smiled and felt my eyes close, thankful that we were together.  
  
*~*~*~*  
  
Wow, this is turning into a saga. If only I could write this much for my classes! Which reminds me, finals are coming up, so I probably won't be writing that often. Big thanks to all of you have submitted reviews - you're awesome!  
  
Teaser for what's coming up:  
  
--Mark hasn't left the story. He'll be making cameo appearances in following chapters.  
  
--More troubles with Eleanor  
  
--More changes between Carter and Susan 


	9. Chapter 9

Sorry I haven't updated in a while - once again, I blame it on the fact that finals are approaching. Here it is, the next installment! Hope you enjoy it!  
  
*~*~*~*  
  
I sighed heavily as the sound of ambulance sirens approached. It was a double trauma resulting from an MVA, an older couple who had lost control on the slippery streets because of the rain.  
  
We wheeled Mr. and Mrs. Bakersfield into the Trauma rooms. I was taking care of Mrs. Bakersfield while I saw Carter hurry in to see her husband.  
  
It turned out that Mrs. Bakersfield, or Maddie, as she insisted we call her, had a bad gash on the head and a couple of fractures. As we did what we could for Maddie, I kept glancing over at Carter, treating her husband. Carter hasn't been himself the last couple of days, ever since his study got accepted. He has hardly gotten any sleep, and though we live together, I rarely see him.  
  
I did my best to assure her of her husband's condition and then had her rushed to radiology, then went into Trauma 1 to see if I could help Carter.  
  
The man, Bill, Maddie had said, was not doing as well as his wife. Bill's heart wasn't beating normally and it was determined that he had pericardial effusion and required emergency surgery to stop the bleeding.  
  
As soon as he was taken to surgery, I pulled Carter aside.  
  
"John, why don't you go lie down for a while. We've got things covered here," I said, rubbing his arm.  
  
"Thanks, Susan, but I'm okay," he said with a half smile. "Besides, I'm on tomorrow night, so I can sleep during the day, and then I'm off for a whole 36 hours after that. I'll get lots of sleep then."  
  
"No you won't, John. First, you'll sleep for about three hours, then you'll be up doing more on your study, then you'll take some time, procrastinate, and not get any more sleep."  
  
"Okay, so you're right. But we're swamped right now," he argued.  
  
"All right, but as soon as things slow down to almost manageable, you're in a free room with the lights out," I affirmed.  
  
"Will you be in there with me?" he grinned.  
  
"Not this time. Go see a patient, Carter," I smiled.  
  
"Right, Lewis."  
  
Carter never got any more sleep that shift. Not even a decent break. Ever since Mark was gone, we seemed to be too understaffed.  
  
The only good thing that came of being shorthanded was that I didn't have as much time to think about Mark. It hurt not seeing him everyday, even though he called me every day. I pushed the thoughts of Mark out of my head and forced myself to concentrate on this patient. Mark would occupy my mind at a later time.  
  
I got home that night at 9; Carter wasn't due until midnight. Sometimes I still felt uncomfortable in this house without him, even though Gamma was accepting and the staff were very nice to me. I avoided Eleanor as much as possible, and I think that she did the same.  
  
John would try to assure me that he mother didn't hate me, but I couldn't help but have that feeling. I was suddenly shaken from my rather depressing thoughts when the phone rang.  
  
"Hello?" I said, knowing who it would be. Only people from work called on this line, and Mark too.  
  
"Susan, how was your day?" I could hear Mark smiling on the other side of the phone. He's sounded so much happier these past few weeks. I missed Mark's smile.  
  
"Busy, but I didn't lose a patient, so I can't ask for more." I nestled myself on the window seat and looked outside over the grounds.  
  
"No, you can't. How has Carter's study been going?"  
  
"Not so bad, except for the fact that he is getting no sleep now instead of just a little sleep like before."  
  
"I can understand that one."  
  
"How was your day?" I ask as I stare at the moon reflecting off of the pool water.  
  
"It was great. Ella and I made breakfast together this morning. Then we took a walk outside and went to a pet store. She was so fascinated by the puppies that I thought I should get her one. But . . . "  
  
"Let me guess, Elizabeth didn't think it would be a good idea, right?"  
  
"Right. She thinks Ella isn't old enough for the responsibility yet," he laughed. I missed Mark's laugh. "So I got her a goldfish instead."  
  
"Oh, I bet she loves it," I smiled.  
  
"Yeah, she does. She spent all day staring at it, opening her mouth and closing it like the fish," he laughed again.  
  
"What a sight. Oh, I wanted to ask you, would you like to bring everyone over on Saturday for a barbeque? I'm trying to get John to relax more, and I figured good food was a surefire way."  
  
"You've got that right. I think Saturday sounds great. It will be fun."  
  
"Yeah, I'm looking forward to it," I smiled.  
  
"Great. Susan, I'm sorry, but I've got to go. Ella's getting fussy and Rachel went to her friend's house."  
  
"Don't worry about it Mark. Have a great night, okay?"  
  
"All right, Susan. Love you, bye," he said hurriedly as I hear Ella start to cry.  
  
"Love you too, Mark, bye." I hung up the phone and stared at the moonlight's reflection for a few moments.  
  
I missed Mark.  
  
I felt myself slowly slipping into my semi-depressed mode, but I wasn't going to let myself sink that far.  
  
After changing onto my comfy pajamas and putting on my robe, I went downstairs and found a bag of microwaveable popcorn. I pulled up a stool and sat in front of the microwave and then put the bag in. Just as it was beginning to pop, I heard a door shut.  
  
"What are you up to, Susan?" I heard Gamma say as she walked into the kitchen in a blue silk robe and a matching night shirt.  
  
"Watching popcorn pop. Little Susie used to be fascinated by it. I was about to watch a movie. Want to join me?" I asked.  
  
"Depends, what movie?" she asked, also watching the popcorn bag expand in the microwave.  
  
"I'm not sure yet. I'm in the mood for a romantic comedy. I was going to browse through the selection to see what there was."  
  
"Well, I can't seem to be able to sleep tonight, and a romantic comedy does sound good. I'll go look through the DVDs and find something. Bring the popcorn and some sodas in the fridge when its done," she smiled, looking forward to the movie.  
  
"Okay, Gamma," I smiled back.  
  
Gamma and I had been spending a lot of time together recently, and I was really enjoying it. She was a really nice lady, and I think she's grown quite fond of me too.  
  
A couple of minutes later, I walked into the TV room to find Gamma still looking through the movies.  
  
"I can't believe that we've collected to many DVD's. Eleanor and John are always buying them faster than we can watch them," she said with a chuckle. "How about this one, 'What Women Want?'"  
  
"Sure, I could use a little Mel Gibson right now," I smiled. Gamma put the DVD in and sat down as the movie began to play.  
  
As Mel Gibson experimented with hot wax and pantyhose, Gamma and I were laughing hysterically. Just then, Eleanor came into the room dressed in a terry cloth robe and pajamas.  
  
Like I always did, I tried my best to greet her with warmth. "Mrs. Carter," I said to her cordially, "want to join Gamma and I? We're enjoying Mel Gibson's legs," I chuckled.  
  
"Not right now, but thank you, Susan. I just came down to see what the noise was about," she said calmly.  
  
"Oh, stay and watch the movie, Eleanor," Gamma joined in. "We have popcorn," she added with a smile.  
  
"I suppose I should. I'm not getting any sleep anyway." Eleanor sat next to me as I scooted over closer to Gamma to give her room.  
  
At first, I was a little uneasy, but that changed as soon as the movie got funnier. By the time Mel Gibson was running through New York trying to get away from the thoughts he was hearing, we were all laughing. It was a great moment that was interrupted too soon by the phone ringing.  
  
"Now who would be calling at this hour?" Gamma asked.  
  
"Probably John," I said, jumping up and climbing over the couch to get to the phone before the machine picked up.  
  
"Hello?" I said into the phone.  
  
"Susan, hey sweetheart," John said on the other end. "I just wanted to tell you that I'm going to be late."  
  
"John, no, you need to come home and get some sleep," I admonished.  
  
"It won't be long, just an hour or two. We're a little backed up."  
  
"Then you come home and I'll go in. I don't mind, but I'd rather you get some rest. You haven't slept for more than four hours at a time in the past week."  
  
"No, Susan, I've got it covered. But you're right, I do need sleep," he sighed. "Look, it won't be that long. Luka's coming in soon, I'll leave when he gets here, okay?"  
  
"All right. I'll see you then."  
  
"Okay. I love you, Susan," he said, stifling a yawn.  
  
"I love you too." I hung up the phone and walked back to the sofa.  
  
"That was John?" Gamma asked.  
  
"Yeah, they're really busy right now at the hospital, so he's going to stay late," I sighed, settling back onto the sofa.  
  
"He really loves what he does, doesn't he, Susan?" Eleanor asked.  
  
"Yes, he really does," I said sincerely. "He couldn't be happier."  
  
"Good," she simply said.  
  
True to his word, John arrived at home soon. He walked into the TV room and smiled at the three of us, still laughing at the movie.  
  
"Figures that I miss all of the fun," he said walking over to us. He bent down and kissed each of our cheek's sweetly. "Why didn't I get an invitation to this slumber party?"  
  
"Because you weren't invited. How did things go at the hospital?" I asked.  
  
"We got caught up. Mostly minor cases. Well, I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm going to sleep. Goodnight, ladies," he said, climbing the stairs.  
  
Gamma and Eleanor both bid him a goodnight "I'll be up soon, John," I said, turning back to the TV.  
  
"Okay," he called from the top of the stairs.  
  
The movie soon ended and I got up to put it back.  
  
"Well, we're going to have to make movie night a regular event," Eleanor smiled as she stood up.  
  
"I agree," Gamma said with a yawn.  
  
"Sounds good," I said. "Well, have a good night."  
  
"You too, Susan," Gamma said.  
  
"Goodnight," Eleanor added as I started up the stairs.  
  
I tried to be as quiet as possible as I went into the bathroom to brush my teeth, but it was of no use.  
  
"Have fun tonight?" I heard John sleepily say from the bedroom.  
  
"Yeah, I really did," I said as I rinsed out my mouth.  
  
"Good," he yawned.  
  
I climbed in next to him and he wrapped his arms around me. "I'm glad you're getting along with my mom," he murmured into my hair.  
  
"Me too," I smiled and drifted off to sleep. 


	10. Chapter 10 / Epilogue

*~*~*~*~*Chapter 10 / Epilogue*~*~*~*  
  
My eyes open slowly and adjust to the dim light of the sunrise filling the room. Carter is curled up next to me and still breathing deeply. I rarely wake up at dawn, but love it when I do. Its so peaceful, and I quickly lose myself in thoughts.  
  
Its amazing how much my life has changed in the past few months. Moving back home, seeing everyone, meeting new people. Seeing how much everyone stayed the same and how much they changed all at the same time.  
  
Kerry. Kerry is pretty much the same, a manager and organizer to the core. Strong, determined, and sometimes a little brash. Oh, but that lesbian thing is definitely a big change.  
  
Carter. Its amazing how much that man has changed. For one, he wasn't a man when I left. But now, he's the sweetest, most loving man I know, a man I couldn't live without. He's the cause of many other changes, me living in this house, and my new relationships with Gamma and Eleanor.  
  
Mark. My poor, wonderful Mark. The fates must have something against that innocent man. But he's strong, and he's my best friend. I never thought that when I returned, I would be losing him. Its unfair, but I know that he won't really be gone when he dies; he'll always be close to me.  
  
As sunlight fills the room, John mumbles something and rolls over closer to me, wrapping and arm around my waist. I smile and kiss his forehead. That makes him smile and once again he mumbles something, making me giggle. I settle into him a little more an beam, realizing how happy I am.  
  
No matter what's happening or what's changing, I realize that it doesn't matter. I am so happy right now, I have so many reasons to be happy. I get a warm, fuzzy feeling inside as I realize that I probably couldn't be happier or more thankful for my life.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Whew. Finished. Can't believe I actually finished it! I had to end here, simply because I was afraid that if I didn't, this story would never end!  
  
Faithful readers have no reason to worry, however. I plan on continuing this storyline. I just didn't want Stable Changes to end up with 47 parts. Keep an eye out for more CarSan stories, I have lots of ideas stemming from this base fic.  
  
Well, that's all for now! Finals start Friday :( Visit my site members.tripod.com/trekgirl01 for more of my stories that I'll soon be posting! Summer's coming, which means more time for writing!  
  
Stephanie 


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